Wait.

This morning, my heart was filled with dread. While walking to my car to head off to university, I felt so exhausted with life. I entered my car and I sat inside the car for a good ten minutes, not moving. I had difficulties in breathing and my head was spinning. I cried silently. I am so tired. I am tired of my routinic life. I am so tired of using the same route to go to classes. I am tired of looking at the same road, trees and houses.

I'm tired of feeling so helpless. I am tired of not truly understanding the subjects I'm currently studying. I hate feeling lost in lectures. I feel so unmotivated...so weak. I tried doing extra by reading cases and textbooks before classes but I am still struggling. I am tired of having my support system – my parents and Chris – so far away from me. A hug from them –  heck, from anyone will help so much now.

I want to escape and get away for a while but I can't. I am tied down by obligations. I don't understand why I have to feel like this every semester in university. I'm not depressed or suffering from emotional breakdown. I'm just very exhausted with life.

This weariness is killing me inside.

Safe.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable." 

   - C.S. Lewis

This is my favourite quote of the day, linked to me by Chris. People always say that falling in love is the sweetest part of a relationship. I think that loving a person and knowing that that person loves you back is the best part because everyone falls in love at a different pace. You could already be falling in love and the other person is still not there yet. It is scary to be the person who is ahead in a relationship. You worry that you are rushing into things and that there could be a possibility that the other person might not even reach love part of the relationship. Falling in love is some scary shit.

And of course, this marks the comeback of my blogging days! Hello again, Internet.