Wait.

This morning, my heart was filled with dread. While walking to my car to head off to university, I felt so exhausted with life. I entered my car and I sat inside the car for a good ten minutes, not moving. I had difficulties in breathing and my head was spinning. I cried silently. I am so tired. I am tired of my routinic life. I am so tired of using the same route to go to classes. I am tired of looking at the same road, trees and houses.

I'm tired of feeling so helpless. I am tired of not truly understanding the subjects I'm currently studying. I hate feeling lost in lectures. I feel so unmotivated...so weak. I tried doing extra by reading cases and textbooks before classes but I am still struggling. I am tired of having my support system – my parents and Chris – so far away from me. A hug from them –  heck, from anyone will help so much now.

I want to escape and get away for a while but I can't. I am tied down by obligations. I don't understand why I have to feel like this every semester in university. I'm not depressed or suffering from emotional breakdown. I'm just very exhausted with life.

This weariness is killing me inside.