I've been (and still am) sick for the past one week. Coughing and all that jazz. I guess it's that time of the year again. My voice is rough as hell, so you know who to call if you want to get it onzz.
Some girls think they can do whatever they want just because they're attractive. They take advantage of guys who have weak knees for them. They openly flirt with other guys and ignore the good guys who do not look at their breasts. And they complain that there are so many fucked up guys in the world. We women have issues that even I can't fathom. I truly pity the good guys.
When I see the good guys observing the person they have feelings for from far, I wonder how much pain they're going through. Unrequited love is always the worst. You feel so helpless. You wish you could slap some sense into that person. It sucks having to watch friends suffering from this and there's nothing you can do about it.
Good guys, you shall have the final victory.
Random : It's almost a year now.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
"I need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.
...
Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."
Juno & Mac MacGuff ; Juno
Dear The Right Person,
I'm worried that the longer you take to look for me, the more wrong I'd be for you.
Patriotism, not nationalism. The amazing event that took place on the 9th July 2011 has generated patriotism like no other Moral textbook could. All these years I've never understood the difference between nationalism and patriotism and I finally understood the difference between them, just by watching tens of thousands braving through tear gases and water cannons, just to have their voices heard.
I've always experienced nationalism, never patriotism. We're always taught to be proud of our country. Our nation's achievements in the world. Our accomplishments since we were a free nation. We feel happy when foreigners praise our local food. We feel proud when Penang and Malacca were listed as world heritages. I do feel proud of Malaysia and what she has reached in the past 54 years. I enjoy having multiracial friends and cultures around me. I love being a Malaysian, with or without the help of Moral or Civic books.
Yet, yesterday made me feel a whole new emotion. I couldn't comprehend why I was religiously following the updates of the rally. I couldn't understand why I choked when I read that people are getting hurt from the beatings by the authorities and the things people do to get away. I started tearing up when I see pictures of senior citizens walking along with the youths, a man with only one able foot joining the walk, people of different races walking hand in hand; all there for one purpose. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride when I saw a picture of a Chinese man holding up the microphone for a Malay man who was praying so that his prayers can be heard by other fellow Muslims, shop owners opening up their shops to allow people to eat and wash their eyes, fellow Malaysians helping each other get away and offer food to complete strangers. I laughed when I read that the rally goers picked up after them when they dispersed and when they shook hands with the police after the rally.
Years of joining the Merdeka parade have never sparked even a slightest patriotic feeling in me. That two hours of reading updates and worrying over thousands of strangers in the streets make me feel like a True Malaysian.
Many said that I shouldn't put so much hopes on Malaysia. Some adviced me to migrate to another country when I'm financially able so my children will not suffer in a biased and repressed country. I might have agreed at one point of my life, that living here will be frustrating in future. I might have even planned to move to another country.
Yet, when I saw thousands of people who chose to stand up for their country that they have silently loved, I saw hope. I saw my generation standing up, deciding that this will be our time now. "Nothing can stop us now. Nothing will stop us." I connected with my fellow Malaysians, even when I was not there with them. I read Facebook posts, Twitter updates and saw enough pictures to know that this is where I want my children to live. I saw hope for Malaysia.
I'm not going against Malaysia. In fact, I was never against Malaysia. I'm not for or against the government as well. I just want to see change. If expressing my support for Bersih and a better Malaysia is going to get me into ISA, then so be it.
Bersih has impacted my life. This will be one of those stories I'm going to tell my children; along with the ones where I attended rallies and helped fellow Malaysians regardless of race and religion (soon, if there's another rally :) ), for a better Malaysia.
I finally felt at home, amidst strangers fellow Malaysians. July 9th, the proudest day for Malaysians.
P.S. If you don't know what happened or still in the dark about this or even, have opposing views on this, please, please read the news on the Internet or just, ask me. I will not brainwash you to go against the country or be a terrorist. I just want you to understand the real condition our country is in. This is the least I can do, after watching fellow Malaysians stand up, wanting a change.
I forget to reply text messages. I forget how to keep track of the days in the week; I only know what day it is after looking at the newspaper header. I forget to appreciate the people that matter most in my life; the ones who have made me the person I am today. I forget to finish my homework. I forget to understand everyday conflicts friends and family go through. I forget to care for myself. I forget to share simple, happy moments with the right friends. I forget to pay my friends back money or give their belongings back. I forget the feeling of simple happiness. I forget to challenge myself everyday. I forget how to be the person I was back then; the person who can do any damn thing when I put my heart to it.
Perhaps I don't care anymore. Perhaps I'm too occupied with my own issues. Perhaps life has drained every essence of my motivation to remember.
Perhaps I choose to forget.
I don't know anything anymore. Everyday passes like a blur. I can't keep track of events happening around me. I'm not doing this on purpose, neither is it accidental.
Apathy has sunk in. And it's making me worried if it'll make me less human as days go by.
