Friday, June 29, 2012

Sound.

The feeling of having a car of your own but unable to drive it around as you wish is really taking a toll on me. It's not that I can't learn to drive it around on my own. It's the feeling I get whenever I sit in the driver's seat. I am constantly burdened by the fact that I might kill someone from a minor mistake I make while driving. When I'm on the road, I'm more worried about everyone's safety than mine. Not only the passengers in my car but the people surrounding the car. The other drivers, the motorcyclists, the people by the roadside. It's like I'm playing God when I'm driving ; everyone's lives are in my hands. I'm terrified by that.

There are just too many factors that could go wrong. I might be able to eliminate the few factors that I can control (my alertness, my driving skills, etc) but everything else is beyond me. There is just too many factors that I am unable to take charge and say, 'Okay, here is how it goes'. All I can do is believe that the other drivers will take care of other drivers on the road. All I can do is trust them for a few seconds that they are not trying to kill me or turn the road into a dangerous track of doom.

My dad kept telling me to relax while driving. Well, Dad, how can I relax when I am constantly badgered by the thought that I might kill someone with a wrong move from my side? How? How do you people drive around like it's the easiest thing in the world? 

2 comments:

Lady Disdain said...

Woman. I totally hear you. It's way too much responsibility and one I don't think I want all that much. I don't know ppl do - in fact, I've watched friends, parents, colleagues, classmates do it, and a lot of them (especially classmates & younger colleagues) just treat it in this blase way and don't seem to realize how reckless they're being. (Maybe only a little - but they're still DOING it.)

Sue Fyenn said...

RIGHT? I really don't know how they can be so reckless when lives are at stake here! It's crazy. I thought I was the only one who is overanalyzing this because no one seem to share the same kind of feelings I have for driving.