My life is a joke.
Just when things start to move smoothly, shit happens. Like, when I finally negotiated with myself and decided that if I can't study Law now, I shall study it later. I'll just continue with English Literature because I enjoy it. The best part is that even my parents have come to terms with this and allowed me to pursue a degree in English Literature and study Law later. But no, life decides to drop a pile of shit at my door with a 'hey there!' note.
I guess I've become a very cynical person because of how life has been treating me. I fell in love with a guy and he disappears. I managed to score great results for STPM but I can't study Law in the university of my choice. I made a compromise with myself and told myself that I wouldn't mind English Literature if my appeal for Law comes back with a no and now, I can't even study English Literature. O, the irony.
Yes, I do feel a sense of loss because I am really interested in studying English Literature. Forcing me to study grammar and write 3000 word essays instead of reading American and British classics doesn't feel like the kind of education I want to have. I do understand that some people can't cope with literature because of the lack of background in it and that this course wasn't their first choice so yes, I can sympathise with you. But let this be about me this time. Let me be selfish this time and say that I really want to study literature and not English. Screw democracy and the votes of the majority this time. Just this one time.
I teared up a little when I explained to Chris about my situation and how I can never get things my way. No Law, no English Literature. I am forced to comply again. Study what I have to study because of other people. It's like, studying Moral again because the Government says so. When can I ever study something that I want? When can I finally learn something that isn't forced upon me?
The joke's on me again. Har har.
2 comments:
i'm not as good in Literature as you are, Sue Fyenn, but i think that's the whole reason why i'm here in this department. i came to learn. and i feel hurt as crap when they said we could only take one stream and it wasn't Literature. i thought i would be learning so many new things about Literature and finally becoming a full-fledged Lit student, but noooooooope.
life happens. we all need a time-out on this man. ):
Oh, dude. I'm really not that good. I never thought I was good in English Literature haha. Because there's so much to know!
I felt really angry and sad and helpless when I saw the number of hands voting for Literature. It's okay, dude. We'll be okay..together. :)
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