Slide.

Cutest thing I've seen today. AAAHHHH.

 Like, ZOMG SO CUTE BATMAN IS BLUSHING. Seen here.
_________________

I love blogging. I love expressing myself in long sentences and paragraphs and I love how my fingers tap on the keyboard non-stop when I am blogging about something that excites me. I love how my fingers are the alternative gateway (besides my mouth, obviously) for others to see what I see, hear what I hear and feel what I feel. I love how my fingers are synchronized perfectly to the thoughts of my mind, moving at 100 miles per hour.

However, when a friend asked me why I am still wasting my time on my blog, I didn't want to get overemotional about it and explain how I feel when I voice out my thoughts with my fingers because I believe non-bloggers won't understand it. They won't understand the satisfaction I feel after typing everything out, hoping that someone out there will be able to relate to my life. They won't understand the emotions I feel when someone posts comments regarding a topic that matters to me; whether they agree or disagree or simply agree to disagree to my opinions.

I think blogging has made me more matured, in a way. Before I blog about something, I would usually think about it for a long time before blogging it out to see if I can type it out in a way that makes sense. And sometimes, I do researches about the topics I talk bring up. So yeah, blogging has aided in my intellectual and emotional growth. Yes, I have one of those posts that are filled with hot men and female hormones once in a while but most of the time, I blog about something that is dear to me (those horny posts are regarding something that is dear to me too, yes) or something that needs to be given more attention. I blog to educate. I blog to be understood. I blog to contain my excitement from exploding in real life. I blog to keep my memories forever alive. I blog to look back and see how much I have grown out of the prejudices and misconceptions I have always had.

Blogging is very personal to me. Blogging is like, talking to a friend. Sometimes, I just need to get all those heavy weights off my chest and shoulder without being adviced on how to solve my problems or comforted so I'll feel better. I just need to type everything out and be done with it. I just want to be heard, that's all.

And now, I want you to hear about how cute Batman is in that lovely pink gown, blushing and smiling like a girl in love. ZOMG SO CUTE.

Tricky.

Do you notice a pattern on Youtube or basically, anywhere in the Internet that allows readers and users to comment? We are bound to see words like 'gay' and 'fag' in the comments when readers disagree with each other. But you will never see words like 'nigger' or 'slant-eyed asswipe' because you will be bombarded with one word. Racist. I don't remember being informed that sexual slurs are accepted as normal while racial slurs are a taboo and shouldn't be used. Or maybe, my note got lost in between the stacks of Christmas cards the postmen throws out when they couldn't deliver it on time.

I'm not sure when sexual slurs started their rounds as words to insult but as always, being a person who believes in human rights, I do not support this shit. I guess, one of the reasons why the society don't choose racial slurs as an insult because we were born that way. We are born into a Chinese/Indian/White/Black family and it can't be an insult because you didn't choose to be born into that particular ethnic. It's not your freedom to choose which family you would like to live with for the rest of your lives because well, you just can't. So, I guess that's why people don't (or rarely) use racial or ethnic slurs because there is nothing to insult about. It's not your doing that you ended up with a Malay family. On the other hand, the choice of your sexuality is your decision. You can be either be straight, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual - whatever. It's all up to you when you start learning about yourself.

See, no one states that being straight is normal. You were born a male or a female but your sexual preference is all up to you. No one should tell you that a guy liking a girl is normal or that a guy having interest in another guy is unnatural. In fact, it's not even stated in any Rule Book Of Life that anything besides heterosexuality is the wrong way. So, I am disgusted to read comments that insult others with sexual slurs. By using those words as an insult, you're already imposing your superiority on homosexuals and bisexuals. You use those words as an insult because you do not like the way they are. You undermine them because of your perception that everyone is born straight and whoever who isn't, deserves to be looked down. Because they are not following the 'order of nature'.

I believe that homosexuals, bisexuals, etc deserves to be respected because they are basically as fucking human as you and anybody else. They should be allowed to decide who suits them best, regardless of gender. Cliched as it may sound but love is blind. Who are you to tell them that they should be attracted to the opposite sex? You have no right to tell them the way they should live because no homosexual goes around telling heterosexuals that they are doing it wrong. It's all about the matter of perception. The perception that being heterosexual is the right thing. It is just the same thing as people telling you that being thin is attractive. They are telling you who you should be copulating with and that even if you're a homosexual, it's okay to live in misery with the opposite sex for the rest of your life because that's what the society expects of you.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense right now. Because I think I'm going out of point.

Right. So, yeah. Using 'faggot' itself is already a derogatory manner to homosexuals. It's rude and just plain disrespectful. It's just the same as people associating the Jews with the term 'money-minded'. And no one does that, so how is this any different for sexual slurs?

...I think I lost my train of thought. I was supposed to be approaching this subject in another manner but I can't remember what I wanted to touch on. Guh.

Basically, just stop using sexual slurs because it shows how intellectual you are (or the lack of it) and how you are more or less a complete asshole for doing so. And because no one likes it.

Dark.

Hello there. You might have heard or read about Wikipedia's blackout because of SOPA/PIPA because it's a pretty damn huge issue. So huge that so few people (including the US citizens) know about this. Their media (Fox, NBC) actually ignored the entire issue in their evening news broadcasts until last week, because they are a part of the group that wants SOPA/PIPA to be implemented. There's some serious shit going on here because majority of the US citizens didn't know of these bills which is about to be passed in their own country and I think I need to do my part in sharing the shit. So everyone can fucking get up and call bullshit on SOPA/PIPA.

Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) are very similar acts that are supposedly trying to stop online piracy (as stated) and protect everyone's property from being distributed illegally through rogue websites in the Internet such as Isohunt, Mediafire, 4shared and Pirate Bay. Sounds pretty dignified right? Oh, man. Wait until you hear about the things these acts can do to you. I'll try to keep this short because I don't want people to stop reading because it's too long. So, one thing about SOPA/PIPA is that it allows huge corporate companies (I'm gonna call them apple mints from now onwards) like Universal Music, Sony, EMI, etc to take down any material that are in violation of their copyrighted material. Without any debate or paperwork. So yeah, imagine this. You decide to do a cover of a song you really love and you post it on Youtube. And out of no where, Sony Music comes along and decides, "Hey, this dude is singing a song that belongs to me. I want it back." and gets Youtube to pull down your video. Okay, you might think that it's perfectly okay for this to happen. But wait just a minute. Youtube is a website full of videos like that. Youtube will be shut down. And because people just love linking videos on Facebook, Facebook will also have to be shut down. Because both Youtube and Facebook are hosting pirated materials. If you embed a video on your website, your website will be forced to shut down. If you link gifs from Tumblr, pictures from Google, videos from Youtube and articles from Wikipedia to anywhere else, that site will be shut down. Basically, that just means that the whole Internet will be destroyed because the Internet is made of websites that are constantly linking to other websites.

Oh shit, I'm a pirate!

That's not all, folks. It's not just about eradicating rogue sites. If you post something that doesn't make the apple mints happy, they can make the website or you to take it down, accusing that you have violated their copyrights. When in fact, you didn't. See, this act doesn't require the apple mints to justify their accusations. You could be spreading awareness about SOPA/PIPA and the apple mints can simply snap their fingers and block the post or video. Because they fucking can. That's already in violation of freedom of speech and expression. You are robbed from expressing your views regarding a certain matter. You are forced to shut up. And that's not very nice.This has actually happened when Universal Music wanted a video of famous artistes (P. Diddy, Kanye West, Chris Brown, etc) supporting Megaupload to be taken down from Youtube, claiming that they violated their copyrights when they didn't. In fact, they actually didn't need the rights of a song or video to take down videos because "UMG (Universal Music Group) is now claiming that it has a private, automated censorship right--supported by a secret process that can take down any YouTube video with immunity from the DMCA--and there is nothing that this Court could do about it". Well, now. That sounds like a really bad thing, right?

Second thing about this is with these acts, you're actually giving those apple mints the chance to control your Internet. When they are given the right to block or request sites to take down any material that are accused of violation in copyrights, it's just like having these (******) as a substitute for profanities. They are basically censoring your Internet. They are deciding on what you can or cannot hear. They are deciding on what you can or cannot read. They are deciding on what you can or cannot know. That's pretty fucked up, y'know? You are forced to live in darkness and ignorance just so these apple mints can protect their models and importance. And that's exactly how Malaysia is like, if I can make it relatable to people of my region, our mainstream mass media censoring and hiding dirty issues regarding the Government. With SOPA/PIPA, they can request search engines like Google to block the sites that they do not want you to go sneaking around by not showing that site in the results, crying and stomping their foots claiming these sites could potentially allow piracy and copyright infringement. See where this is going now? They have no argument and they don't need an argument to win. They will just win. And if you decide to sue them, you can spend all that money, running in and out of court, proving that the apple mints are wrong and you will still end up in the losing boat because you have exhausted all your savings while they earn billions annually. You should be shitting in your pants right now from all the fear. Because this is a fucking nightmare.

I hope you can see how easily these bills can be abused by not only apple mints, but basically any-fucking-one. Whatever I saying now is just the tip of the iceberg because there is more shit behind this. And I'm trying to keep this short. Trying oh-so-hard. But what I'm trying to say is that SOPA/PIPA is a violation of human rights in general. If you need to know, SOPA/PIPA is supported (and sponsored) by apple mints because they are claiming that pirates are stealing money from them and jobs from the people who doesn't want to be unemployed by distributing illegally. Well, first of all, they are apple mints. When have apple mints ever cared about the people's well-being? They are money making giant corporates that are finding ways to get more money. (I've learnt enough Economics to know that it's always about the money.) They are not fighting the war with the Government for the same purpose. They are fighting to have the power to control our Internet and information. They are fighting to have the power to control our lives. This is not the fight against piracy. This is a disguise of the fight for power. They don't care if we lose our basic human rights. All they want is to contain and dictate us the way they want.

Also, the people debating about the bills are old people. They are 50-70 year olds, telling us, the young, IT savvy generation how to use the Internet when they have no clue what the Internet is. They have no idea to exactly what they are debating about. The people who were like, "Well, I think we should bring in some experts to help us with this bill because it sounds complicated and we don't want to y'know, destroy the Internet" are in the minority. In the fucking minority. As though majority of these old guys know exactly what they're talking about. Who knows, these guys could actually imagine that they are really at war with men on wooden ships with parrots on their shoulders. Are we really gonna let these people determine how our Internet should be like? I'm sorry but I don't think I want that to happen. I'm perfectly happy with my Internet right now.

If you're not a US citizen and you're like, "Meh, this won't affect me because it's only in the US", sorry to ruin your adorable dream but you should remember that most of the websites we use are from the US. You will not have an Internet. I repeat, you will not have an Internet. Our children will have to start playing outside again. If SOPA/PIPA is implemented, we will feel the effects. It's a fucking butterfly effect, okay? The whole world will feel it.

And if you need more reasons, hey, here's another. The Internet is coming out to oppose the bills that are supposedly trying to save and make the Internet a better place. Wikipedia, Twitter, Mozilla Firefox, Google, Yahoo, Reddit, etc. O the irony.

So this is where I can be shut down for linking useful stuff to you. A video of a guy who does a better job explaining (and terrifying the sense into your head) about SOPA/PIPA.

Sign a petition here. You know what, I demand you to sign the bloody petition.

Articles you should read to educate yourself and also, spread to educate others : Here, here, here and here.

Also, you may hear about SOPA being a complete FAIL because it didn't manage to pass through the House but PIPA is being debated by the Senate, which is filled with older people (and thus, more clueless people) and this is fucking dangerous because it just means that PIPA has a higher probability of getting passed. Because there isn't younger old (uhm, yeah) people there to debate and oppose it. Although SOPA is the much more radical act, you must not overlook PIPA because PIPA has almost the content as SOPA. It can still destroy the Internet.

And if you totally skipped the entire post, well here's the gist of it. I fucking oppose SOPA/PIPA and you should too because I am telling you to or you won't see this blog anymore. Or your Cracked website. Or your 9gag. Or your porn sites.

I managed to frightened you a little, huh?

Trauma.

Here's number 13 in the Shameless Meme list that coincidentally took placed on January 13th in Kuala Lumpur.


Speak up about something crap that was done to you.

You know what's the best thing about having a blog? You can say whatever you want and this is the time when I use this space to convince others that I am not fucking around when I say that my Foster The People gig experience was robbed by gig goers who don't know the basic etiquettes of gigging. And you people, deserve a middle finger for that.

I'm not going to be nice because you people weren't nice to me, or anyone else who were nice there. Firstly, you assholes tried to squeeze through the spaces between two people to get a better view or probably, the front row if no one fucking stopped you. Then, you tried to act sweet and cute by asking if we could allow you to stand in front because you were small sized after all that sneaking and squeezing around. See, do I look like I fucking care whether you're short (which is probably due to the fact that you are like what, ten?) and need a better view of the stage? Well then, here's tip #1. If you know you need to get a better view, then fucking get in line. Vanessa and I were in line since 2:30pm and the concert starts at 8:30pm. And frankly speaking, I did not even see you children in the line during that five hours of wait. The heck, I think you were probably from the back of the line and you used the same guilt card on everyone else to get to the fourth row. And just because we didn't let you be in front of us, you decided to annoy the fuck out of the nice people whom I met during the wait. You leaned on others, making people around me feel uncomfortable. You tried to crawl between a person's legs to get in front. I have to admit, you people are the perfect example of never taking no for an answer. Then you started pushing the people in front of you when no one behind you was pushing. I mean, what's there to push when the concert hasn't even started? You annoying little pricks made a shy and quiet girl behind me so uncomfortable because you kept leaning your bodies on her and pushing her and in turn, push me. And you actually think I would believe that she was the one who would push me for the fun of it after I told you off in the politest way possible? You were lucky I refrained myself from using any profanities because although you are an uneducated child, you are a child nevertheless. And also, I am not going to allow you to ruin my gigging mood which you did eventually. So yeah, here's a little fuck you since I am not holding anything back anymore.

Here's tip #2 : Treat others the way you would like to be treated. When the guys came onstage, almost all the fans ditched their moral and basic human values and became selfish and inconsiderate bunch of low life organisms. You self centered fans continued to push when you already know that we can't go to the front because there's a thing called the metal barricade that is in between the fans and Foster and his People. But you didn't care because you continued pushing and shoving even after Mark Foster himself told you to fucking stop before someone actually dies from a crushed chest. You pushed others to the back to get in front. You pulled hairs to get in front. You elbowed people who get in your way. You get your hands on anything to pull a person behind. Bags, hair, arms, tops, bras. Anything. A Malay fan actually had her head scarf ripped off her head. That was just fucking low, okay? You didn't give all of us enough space to move or even breathe because of your constant pushing towards the stage and that made so many gig virgins to almost pass out. You didn't even bother to show concern when a girl fainted but instead, use it as an advantage to get closer to the front. Basically, the first few rows were a fucking nightmare and I actually wanted to ditch my spot for another spot that is much more comfortable. But I decided not to because I have waited for months to see Foster and The People and also, because there are so many younger fans around. On my right was a 16 year old girl who almost fainted from the heat, the shoving, the lack of air and water, the limited space to stand and other forms of abuse from other fans. On my left was a young girl who didn't have enough feet space and almost fell (which if it did happen, it would be fucking catastrophic) and was also suffering from the pushing, the heat and other forms of abuse. I felt like I had to be there to take care of them, prevent them from literally fainting and dying. I fanned and blew cool air to the girl on my right and constantly checked on both the girls between songs or whenever the shoving and pushing got really bad. They survived the whole fucking concert and I hope that they will do the same to others as I did to them if they attend more gigs in the future. And I emphasise on the word 'if' because the whole chaotic atmosphere in that hall with all the physical injury and emotional trauma experienced there actually scared nice gig goers from future concerts and that is truly a fucking shame. 

Tip #3 : Say the three magical words; please, sorry, and thanks. If I bumped into your arm, sorry will be the first word out of my mouth, whether you heard it or not with the music and crowd. If I needed to hold onto you for support, I would say please, followed by a thanks. I had to lean on the girl in front on me for support when the crowd was swaying to wherever Foster is at. I had to share foot space with the person beside me so I don't fall. I accidentally elbowed another girl in front of me while waving my arms in the air. I needed to rest my arms on the shoulder of the guy in front of me. I did all these without getting bitchstared because I used the three magical words. I am careful to not offend anyone during a gig because everyone's intentions of being there is to simply have fun. But not everyone was kind enough. You inconsiderate shit for brains people slammed your bodies into me, disabling my intake of air. You squeezed yourself between people, making everyone else to be restricted from movement. You hit my head again and again. You put your entire weight on me. And you did not even mutter a single word to me and actually stared at me. Where are your fucking manners, people? You are such a disgrace to the fan base.

Everyone was there for a little piece of Foster The People. What is the fucking point of going there you are constantly screaming and shouting while they are performing and talking? I paid money to listen to them talk and connect with the fans like we're best friends and hear them live after watching enough live performances on Youtube, not listen to your hormone induced screams whenever Foster speaks. So yeah, when I heard someone in the crowd said "Shut the fuck up, bitch. He's talking.", you have no idea how relieved I felt. I would've given that person a handshake for being so fucking awesome. Therefore, tip #4 shall be Shut the fuck up, bitch. This tip needs to be embedded in every fangirl's head. No one paid to hear how hot Foster is at a concert. No one cares how you want Pontius to be gift wrapped and placed under your Christmas tree. No one needs to hear about your sexual frustrations and how you wish to be impregnated by Foster. Basically, no one fucking buy tickets to hear fangirls in concerts. Unless you're going to shout something like "I love your music!", "You guys are fucking awesome!" or "Foster The People JYEEAHHH", you should really just shut the fuck up. Mostly for your own safety because I might hit someone someday if I hear that kind of crap again. And also, because it just pisses me off because for a band that actually produces pretty good music and is actually really good live, it just fucking sucks to see a band get downgraded from a band that makes great music to a band that has a huge female fan base just because the band consists of good looking guys. It's like, their music doesn't even matter because they are cute and that is what that's making them so successful which is just fucking sad. 

Don't you tell me I deserved all these shit because I chose to be in the Fanatic zone because this is not how a gig is supposed to be like. I have been to a few gigs and this is by far, the worst crowd I have ever came across. They robbed me from the experience of a fun gig and just, being a fan who is there to enjoy the music and the band. I got myself the Fanatic tickets because I thought that the people who would pay more than RM150 would probably be die-hard fans who love their music and are really there just to have fun. I thought the fangirls who will be there to also probably be fans of their music. I expected a crowd of happy giggers who love Foster and The People and we will all be a happy gigging family. We would crowd surf, synchonise our hand waves, cheer together and help each other out when someone is falling or fainting. I did not expect the crowd to be this vicious and bitchy. I did not expect the people to be so fucking inhumane. It was one thing to not be able to fully enjoy myself because I was busy trying to survive and helping others from falling to the ground. But to be surrounded by people who would do cruel things to another person just to get a better spot or view of the stage, it was just too much for my body. I looked out for the people who were initially around me before the gig after it ended. They were pushed behind and shoved to the other corner of the hall. People stole the FTP buttons they pinned on their tops. They were exhausted and tired. This gig drained my hopes and faith in the fan base and the entire fucking human species. I couldn't stand to be in the same room with these people who call themselves fans. No fan would do this to another fan. We love the same band. We share the same passion for the same music. It was just fucking insane. 

I have never felt so shitty after a gig. I felt so disgusted and nauseated by the people. I couldn't speak to anyone until after I got out of the hall. I was a mixture of anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment and all the other shitty emotions you can think of. No proper gig would affect a person this way. I constantly talked to Vanessa about the crowd because if I stopped to reflect on the events that took place that night, I would actually start crying. When I woke up in the morning yesterday, the misery and disappointment I felt was so intense that I can't even remember the last time I felt this way. I don't think I'm ready to attend another gig after experiencing so much emotional trauma. I can't even bring myself to put my Torches album into my CD player because it hurts so much. The only song I can listen to from them right now is Ruby because that is the only good memory I got from the concert.

It's really sad that I have to associate the whole experience with Foster The People because they were amazing on stage. They had so much energy and if I wasn't in the Fanatic zone, I would've really enjoyed myself. Foster The People needs to come back down here so I can delete this negative memory that will be connected to them and recreate a new and better one.  

Sigh.

An Open Letter To Foster The People

Dear Foster The People,

I would like to sincerely apologize on behalf of the irresponsible fans in the Fanatic Zone and the fans in general when you toured in Malaysia yesterday.

Guys, I love your music and I love you as a person. Therefore, I am terribly sorry that fans were constantly shouting "Mark Foster, I love you!" and "Pontius, you are so hot!" while you guys were performing. It felt like a competition of who shouts their affections and urges to fuck you louder instead of really listening and enjoying your music. I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed to be in the crowd when they were screaming and gushing over your hotness when you were introducing Broken Jaw. You were trying to connect with the crowd by telling the back-story of Broken Jaw (how it was a hard time for you and all that) and the fans (mostly fangirls) were more interested in proposing to you from the crowd. I promise, I didn't join in the 'I love you' screams although I really do love you guys. That's why I am writing this to you and I hope you'll read it. Because I am not trying to get into your pants, but because I love you guys and respect all of you as people who inspire commoners like me to continue to live and breathe music.

I am sorry for the way the crowd acted in Fanatic Zone. Frankly speaking, this was one of the worst crowds I have ever been in. The fangirls were vicious and self-centered. They were pulling hairs and almost yanked my bra and top off. I wish I was kidding. I even heard about an incident during your concert that a girl fainted and people didn't stop to give a fuck but instead, ignored her existence and trampled on her. When I heard about it, I was truly disgusted by the crowd. The crowd was pushing and didn't give the front row enough space that the front row fans couldn't literally breathe. Their chests were smashed against the metal barricades and they couldn't even catch their breaths. Mark Foster, you even told the fans to stop pushing towards the stage. That was really nice of you to do that because it got so bad that you actually noticed and I appreciate it. But it didn't really last long because it got worse after that. I've never experienced such a scene in my years of attending gigs. I saw many gig virgins there and they said that this will be their first and last gig, which is just a shame because some gigs are just fan-fucking-tabulous if the crowd was kind and awesome enough. I'm sorry because of how uncivilised and selfish the fans acted yesterday.

Sean and Isom, I am so sorry that the fans didn't know who you were. One of the fangirls asked me why is that hobo playing the guitar instead of Foster. No words could express how I wanted to answer, 'What the fuckery fuck? That's Sean.' but I didn't. I told her your name and she nodded like she didn't really care about your name. She was the same girl who had a fucking orgasm when she got a drumstick (yes, a drumstick. One drumstick. How useful.) that Mark Pontius was holding and using it to play the drums. I hope you hear me sighing through the Internet right now because I am sighing as I type this. I'm so sorry that the fangirls are not aware of your contributions to the band because I really believe that you guys are already part of Foster The People.

Also, I was glad that you guys were offstage when this happened. A child (she probably just started menstruating for all I know) screamed at the top of her lungs that she loves you, Foster and she would love it if you would impregnate her. See, there's a difference with having thoughts like that (which I do, to be honest) and screaming it out loud at a concert. Foster, I love you as a person and as a musician but I wouldn't go up to you and voice out my sexual frustrations upon our first introduction. I do it here, in my blog because it's for me alone but if I meet you, I will not say things like that anyway because you are a person with feelings and I would be fucking offended if someone came up to me and tell me how I am so fuckable and how I should have his babies. Because I am not a sex object and neither are you. It's just fucking disrespectful, to make things short and I am sorry that she degraded you to that level.

Foster, I'm sorry that the fans couldn't share the love you have for Ruby. I was a little shocked when you left the stage the first time without singing Ruby because I was really anticipating a live version of Ruby after listening to crappy recorded-at-concerts versions and the studio version. To hear fans in the crowd asking among themselves the title of the song you were singing, that just broke my heart. In fact, I think the only person (if not, one of the few) who was singing to Ruby while waving my phone in the air with flickers of blue, red and white lights. I hope you saw me because you sounded the best during Ruby.

However, you guys really gave your all in the concert. If I wasn't busy worrying about where I should be putting my foot, trying not to die, looking out for other fellow fans who are a virgin at this and needs protection from a senior gigger like myself and trying not get dry humped (which I did experience), I would've enjoyed your performance. I would've allowed Helena Beat to be the song I sang the loudest and I would join in with the shuffling dance, Foster. I would've displayed my own dance moves that has never seen daylight to the world because it has only been done in the four walls of my room and you guys would have been impressed by it. The crowd really ruined my gig experience with you guys and you have no idea how fucking shitty, disappointed, frustrated and sad I felt after the gig. I was looking forward to meeting you guys for months and to have my mood destroyed by the crowd, it kinda made me cry a little after the gig, okay? I was that disappointed.

I just hope you guys will come back soon. However, you won't be seeing me at the second row anymore. I'll be loving your music and dancing to myself at the back, where I have ample of space to shuffle and wave my arms and phone in the air.

Take care and continue to make music like you always do.

The fan who was waving her phone with red, blue and white lights,

Sue Fyenn

Always.

9gag. Everyone's heard of it or are avid readers of that picture/meme blog. I am not an addict to that website but I do visit once in a while. Please be noted that I am not trying to be a party pooper or spoil the fun everyone's having in that site but I just need to express my thoughts about certain topics that are brought up there.

'Bitch, make me a sandwich' and 'The kitchen = the place where girls belong', two of the many sexist quotes in that site. I think you can see where I'm going now so don't be all "Pshh, what a kill joy" when you finish reading this. You're free to leave any time you want. Remain living in ignorance.

So. You're still here? Well, then. I will continue. Truthfully, I'm a little bit of a feminist. I think I've read enough literature books regarding gender inequality to understand the hardships women have to undergo to obtain freedom back when male dominance was thick in the air. I could feel myself throw up in my own mouth when I read about how women are treated as subordinates and are marginalised by others just because they refuse to back down when they realised that the lives that are controlled by their husbands, brothers or fathers are the lives they do not wish and decide to pursue the lives they desire. I would also like to make it clear that I'm not that kind of feminist who say things like, "We don't need men to fetilise our seeds!" or "We don't need men to attain happiness in life!". Men and women need each other and I understand that. I just believe that women should be given equal respect as you would give other men and shouldn't be taken for granted and that women should have their own rights of deciding the terms they wish to be in.

Therefore, to see comments like, "She knows where she belongs" and with so many people (including females) clicking 'like' on it makes me feel a little sad, that the hard work women and men put into attaining the empowerment women have achieved in the past centuries could (and possibly, would) just go to waste because of such light women are presented in now. Imagine, all the riots, strikes and sacrifices both women and men have done last time to obtain the freedom the women are enjoying now just ends up going to waste because of the way the community takes things for granted. Sure, everyone's laughing and enjoying the meme now but eventually, it won't be so funny anymore when women are slowly repressed again, when everything takes a back turn.

People don't seem to remember that the Internet is now accessible to the young and old. I'm not worried about the old or the people who are old enough to filter information from the Internet. It's the young that I'm worried about. The children who have been exposed to the incredible technology we have today. The children who get iPads and iPhones for Christmas and the ones whose childhood will be surrounding a computer. We have seen how sexualised the younger generation are due to the exposure of sexualised contents like music videos, songs, lyrics, movies, etc. They blindly follow whatever they see and hear because they did not experience the kind of lives we had; the ones when Hillary Duff sings about unrequited love or when 'N Sync and Backstreet Boys were the next-door-neighbour guys we adore. So, when we're presented with a meme that jokes about how women belong in the kitchen, we know that it shouldn't be taken seriously. However, it won't be the same for the children today. They don't have the kind of childhood or life we had because this is their childhood. They have Rihanna who is happy baring everything on camera and Katy Perry who has whipping cream shooting out from her bra. And we can already see evidence from acts like these; videos of young children kissing and groping each other and pictures of young girls wearing skimpy outfits. So, when they see memes like these and how everyone laughs and 'likes' it, they will assume that this is a normal and girls should make them a sandwich because they are girls. They can't differentiate which is good or bad information because they have nothing to compare it with. And what do you think will happen after that?

I understand if the younger generation laughs at these because they are young and do not have enough knowledge. I can't blame them for this. But my generation - the people who shared my kind of childhood should just stop and think about what exactly they are laughing about. You are old enough now. So, tell me, what exactly is so funny about the 'Women are like fridges. They belong in the kitchen.' jokes. Because all I'm sensing is that you are laughing at the insignificance of the role of women. Seems to me that the silent laughter in your heart, the comments you post and the 'like' button you clicked on symbolises that you actually agree that women are the subordinates to men. That we should just remain domesticated and do not need to bother pursuing our dreams and ambitions. That we should depend on men to provide for the family. That we should stay dependent on others because we are unfit and unqualified to decide the kinds of lives we want to live. That we should live like how women lived back then; deprived from the rights we deserve and have today. In Athens, women had no citizenship because they are born with a vagina instead of a penis. Women were deprived from the rights to vote because they can support another human being in their bodies, no rights to publish a book and were forced to be published under a male pen name so the society would read their work with an unbiased heart, not given the privilege to attain education because of their backward theory that women will go insane if they were exposed to difficult subjects. Because they were women.

You might think that I'm overreacting and just plain irrational because this is just for laughs and I shouldn't take it seriously but I am not going to just sit here and watch everyone else laugh about how I should make sandwiches for guys just because I am a woman. How would you react if I expect you to fix my car and everything else at home and support me and my kids just because you are a guy? I don't, if you were already going 'Fuck, that's what all women expect of us!'. Sorry, dude. I don't expect anything from you because you're a guy. If you can fix a car, then I will call you because you can fix a car, not because you're a dude. Saying that women belong in the kitchen is just like saying men belong in the garage.

I quote a very close friend, "I think popular culture - music, movies, TV, books, mags, games, Internet - are an amazing reflection of a particular civilization's value system and what we stand for as a collective." Our pop culture is, to be honest, pretty shitty for women. In fact, I believe that the degradation of a woman's worth in the society based on perspectives and ideas of women presented in the mainstream is worse than ever right now. And this really saddens me. I'm not a big ass activist. I'm just a person who is equipped with a computer, an Internet connection and a blog. And I hope that this can make a difference. Even if it changes the opinion of just one person, I'm happy enough.

Bow.

Foster The People is in less than a week. 5 days, to be exact.

Everyone, wave your arms in the air sideways because Foster says so.

I AM EXCITED, IF YOU CAN'T TELL FROM ALL THE LETTERS BEING CAPITALISED. I'M PRACTICALLY SCREAMING AT THE INTERNET.

I am ready to be entertained, guys. 

Aspect.

Blog descriptions, I was never a fan of it. Why? I'm not really sure but it's probably because it just feels weird describing myself. I wouldn't know if the description of myself is who I really am or perceive myself to be. I like the idea of being random but it doesn't mean I'm really a person who randomly does things. They say that it is you who knows yourself best. I hardly agree with that, really. Because I can't explain my own feelings, thoughts and actions sometimes.

A couple of days ago, I had the urge of putting up a blog description. I rounded up a few friends to do a description of me as a blogger and as a person in general. At that time, it seemed like the right thing to do; get a couple of people to do the work I am uncomfortable of doing. I just needed to cut and paste their descriptions into a section and voila, a blog description. However, I woke up today and decided that I am not going to go through with a blog description. The idea of narrowing people's perception and views about me with a blog description felt silly. I have a whole blog to allow people to imagine the person I put out to the world and I decided to restrict their minds from seeing me the way they wish to see me with a blog description. 

Eddie Vedder had the same concept too when his band, Pearl Jam refused to make music videos for their songs.

“Before music videos first came out, you’d listen to a song with headphones on, sitting in a beanbag chair with your eyes closed, and you’d come up with your own visions, these things that came from within. Then all of a sudden, sometimes even the very first time you heard a song, it was with these visual images attached, and it robbed you of any form of self-expression."

  Eddie Vedder 

I have been blogging for years and I believe that readers have developed a vague image of me as a blogger and a person in their minds now. To create a blog description just makes my years of blogging and choice of opening myself up to the Internet pointless and meaningless. By blogging and not restricting this blog from strangers is allowing myself to be judged, however harsh it may be. Perhaps this blog has also changed judgments that were developed against me. I don't blog to justify my actions but to allow readers to understand and see the way I see everything. This is also where I am most honest with myself, despite the irony of the Internet being filled with deception. 

And also, am I really so one-dimensional that I can be described as a person and a blogger with just a blog description that contains so little words? I hope not and I do not wish to project that kind of image.

Little.

So. 2012. Right.

Honestly speaking, I never understood the reason why people would rather go out partying and do the countdown in a place that is crowded with thousands of strangers, sweating and rubbing their sweaty bodies on you while you're struggling to have some feet space so you won't trip and fall on your front. I just can't comprehend when they say it's 'fun' or 'cool'. Celebrating the new year with strangers by counting down the seconds to another year is not 'cool'. It's just..insignificant. Sure, friends will be there and all but it's just not the same with sitting around with friends and reminiscing the entire year with a cup of coffee or ice cream while waiting to usher in the new year.

I think I've brought this up in the past. Oh well, who cares. I feel crappy right now and I think I should share the spirit with everyone else.

I hate to sound pessimistic but the new year feels like a lie. A huge lie that everyone believes in. The whole 'hope the next year will be a better year' thing. One, hope? If hoping is going to change the year to be a better one, we wouldn't need to slave around books and learn something that has no guarantee that you will get a job or a good future once you obtained enough qualifications to step into the working world. Two, why wait for another year to have a better life? If you want to have a better year, you can start working on it right at that moment you realised you've been living a sucky life or the next day. Why realise that you had a sucky year and then 'hope' for a better year the day before the year ends? It's a bunch of fucking lies to comfort their souls and make them feel assured over nothing.

And now, the topic of resolutions. I will admit that I was once into making resolutions each year. Because I was young and being young means you have no free will and you have to succumb to the pressures of the society and peers. When they make resolutions, you have to do the same because you need to fit it. Or you'll be a weirdo and have no friends. I digress. So anyway, resolutions. If you want to change for the better, whether to be healthier or happier or achieve something like learning to swim (like me) or wash your car, you don't need to wait a whole year to do it. If you want to be, let's say, prettier, you march into a shop that sells cosmetic and fake eyelashes that instant, woman. You learn to swim this minute, mister. Go on, jump into that puddle of mud and flap your arms like an eagle filled with pride. And if I decide to make resolutions like say, on the 3rd of January, does it mean that this resolution less important? Because it wasn't officiated by chants of numbers backwards and display of fireworks on the 1st of January?

I just..don't get what's the big deal about the new year. If it was me, I would celebrate new year's eve because I know what shit I've gone through and yet, have managed to overcome all problems for another year. If you're celebrating the new year because you're made it through another year and feel good about it, then I can relate. But when people are mindlessly counting backwards towards another year, it feels like they are just anticipating the changing of one (or perhaps, two) digits of the year, from 2011 to 2012. Just different digits. Nothing more. And they all go back to their old habits, never really changing.

I'm not sure if this is a hypocritical post but..*breathes out a heavy sigh*..still feel as shitty as I did when I started the post. Gonna read my book about anti-consumerism and alter-globalization now. Because today's just like any other day.