Little.

So. 2012. Right.

Honestly speaking, I never understood the reason why people would rather go out partying and do the countdown in a place that is crowded with thousands of strangers, sweating and rubbing their sweaty bodies on you while you're struggling to have some feet space so you won't trip and fall on your front. I just can't comprehend when they say it's 'fun' or 'cool'. Celebrating the new year with strangers by counting down the seconds to another year is not 'cool'. It's just..insignificant. Sure, friends will be there and all but it's just not the same with sitting around with friends and reminiscing the entire year with a cup of coffee or ice cream while waiting to usher in the new year.

I think I've brought this up in the past. Oh well, who cares. I feel crappy right now and I think I should share the spirit with everyone else.

I hate to sound pessimistic but the new year feels like a lie. A huge lie that everyone believes in. The whole 'hope the next year will be a better year' thing. One, hope? If hoping is going to change the year to be a better one, we wouldn't need to slave around books and learn something that has no guarantee that you will get a job or a good future once you obtained enough qualifications to step into the working world. Two, why wait for another year to have a better life? If you want to have a better year, you can start working on it right at that moment you realised you've been living a sucky life or the next day. Why realise that you had a sucky year and then 'hope' for a better year the day before the year ends? It's a bunch of fucking lies to comfort their souls and make them feel assured over nothing.

And now, the topic of resolutions. I will admit that I was once into making resolutions each year. Because I was young and being young means you have no free will and you have to succumb to the pressures of the society and peers. When they make resolutions, you have to do the same because you need to fit it. Or you'll be a weirdo and have no friends. I digress. So anyway, resolutions. If you want to change for the better, whether to be healthier or happier or achieve something like learning to swim (like me) or wash your car, you don't need to wait a whole year to do it. If you want to be, let's say, prettier, you march into a shop that sells cosmetic and fake eyelashes that instant, woman. You learn to swim this minute, mister. Go on, jump into that puddle of mud and flap your arms like an eagle filled with pride. And if I decide to make resolutions like say, on the 3rd of January, does it mean that this resolution less important? Because it wasn't officiated by chants of numbers backwards and display of fireworks on the 1st of January?

I just..don't get what's the big deal about the new year. If it was me, I would celebrate new year's eve because I know what shit I've gone through and yet, have managed to overcome all problems for another year. If you're celebrating the new year because you're made it through another year and feel good about it, then I can relate. But when people are mindlessly counting backwards towards another year, it feels like they are just anticipating the changing of one (or perhaps, two) digits of the year, from 2011 to 2012. Just different digits. Nothing more. And they all go back to their old habits, never really changing.

I'm not sure if this is a hypocritical post but..*breathes out a heavy sigh*..still feel as shitty as I did when I started the post. Gonna read my book about anti-consumerism and alter-globalization now. Because today's just like any other day.