Sunday, October 2, 2011

Repeat.

People die two different kinds of death; the physical one where the soul leaves the body and the emotional and mental one where memories of that person slowly decays in your mind.

Physical death, I can handle. It's the end of a person's sufferings and joyful experiences on Earth. The soul leaves the body and the body becomes an empty vessel, yadda, yadda.

It's the lost of memories that I hate the most. Death in mind does not apply to only people who have passed away but also to friends you stopped talking to due to circumstances and the people who came and left but were significant to you at that time.

It's not that you want to forget. You would try very hard to hold on to the memories. You can imagine the smell of the baked cookies and feel how hot the weather was on that day when you reminisce about a person. You can feel the emotions attached to that particular memory. You can remember every tiny details of that memory; how the chair was positioned, the clothes you were wearing, the colour of the sky, the sounds of laughter shared, the smiles, how frizzy your hair was, the feeling of the afternoon breeze on your skin. You would want the person to live forever in your mind.

Yet, slowly but surely, the memories will start to lose its brilliant colours. The memories you have will become duller as time goes by. First, you will start forgetting the minute details. Was there a bird in the tree? What was the colour of the pencil I borrowed her? Then, emotional attachment. You don't cry anymore when you see something that reminds yourself of your grandmother. You stopped feeling happy when you reminisce about the fun you had with your childhood friend. Then, the memories will just run in your mind like a film in the early 1900's; silent moving picture shows. Finally, you just forget. And the person dies. Again.

Maybe not again. Maybe you lost contact with a friend, then you found out that he suffered from lung cancer and he dies. So, he actually died three times. Just like that.

Everything dies. It is a cycle of life. People die, memories die.

Just like that.

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