1) RUG-fucking-BY
The greatest sport that has ever graced Astro Channel 816. The most badass sport that reminds me of the Romans being all gladiator and shit at each other and become all beer buddies after the game. LOVE IT. Also, because there are hot men running around in tights with blood on their sleeves. Such badasses. I like.
2) Teachers who are open about everything and anything
I asked my teachers today about their experience of delivering a baby/babies. They told me about how painful it is and how most women will end up with a stitched vagina because the doctor will slit the opening to ease the baby out. Okay. Firstly, someone is going to cut your vagina with a scissors or a scalpel so that a watermelon sized head can go through a hole the size of a lime. Secondly, stitched vagina. HOLY SHIT WHUT. *crosses legs tightly*
3) Younger guys
I have come to realise that younger guys are much hotter than guys my age. They wear hot clothes, have hot hair and hot hands, and use sexy smelling cologne. I was walking behind a younger guy in tuition and dude, he is hot. I need to find a hot younger guy. That won't be hard, judging by the fact that they are in abundance. In tuition, at least.
4) Pineapple jam tarts
The aunty who sells these sinful things has never tasted her own tarts because I've never seen her smiling. She needs some tarts shoved into her hole. Her mouth. I meant her mouth.
Things I don't adore:-
1) Stitched vagina
I am not going to have a baby. I am not going to force a basketball though a golf ball-sized hole. I AM NOT GOING TO MUTILATE MYSELF FOR A CRYING, POOPING MACHINE. Can someone tell me how is this legal? I love my vagina and I do not wish for it to be sliced vertically.
2) Tuesday
I want it to be a Friday like now because I want to watch rugby gahhhh! Doesn't anyone understand that it needs to be Friday now? Anyone?
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