PpL Hu tYpe lyKe tIs~!!111 Ue no?
Holy shit, dude. I think I became a little less intelligent just by attempting to type like that. Typing that was hard for me because I have enough decency to type properly to ease the readers so it won't be a freaking Sudoku. And I hate Sudoku. So yeah, a double whammy.
I don't know about you guys but I have this certain perception for people who type like this. I'm not trying to stereotype but I think that people who type like this have a lower level of IQ. I mean, it mind boggles me to try to fathom why some people just can't seem to type in full. Can't spell? Can't see the letters on the keyboard? Not enough letters on the keyboard? What? Tell me and I will try to understand your predicaments when using a computer. I'm sure the people who use the Internet have some sort of education. A degree or a diploma from your nearby kindergarten (kindergartens are so bloody advanced nowadays) or at least, some exposure on how to preserve your social worth. I don't think saving time by typing like that is a pretty concrete reason. I'm fine with initialisms like 'BTW' and 'FYI' but to replace 'come' with 'cum' or 'you' with 'ue' (yeah, 'ue' because 'u' is just not creative enough, unlike 'lyke') is just guhhhh.
I don't mind simple grammatical mistakes because I'm not a Grammar Nazi and I do make grammar mistakes myself but c'mon, please learn how to differentiate 'they're', 'there' and 'their' and 'you're' and 'your' because the ability to distinguish homophones actually makes you look smarter. In reality, no one really knows if you're using the right word during a conversation because of the characteristics of homophones so you're a lucky bastard who can get away with it but in the cyber world where we type words to communicate, you're as good as fucked, my darling.
I don't know why I'm being so hard on people who type like this.
I just hate them? That's good enough right?
Another thing that annoys me like fuck. Using numbers to substitute words and syllables.
Dude : Hey ther!
Bimbo : Oh hey 2 ue 2!
Dude : Gr8 work wit ur presentation.
Bimbo : Thnks 4 the compliment. Nyway, c ue l8er!
Seriously, that was hard. I should actually applaud for these people who type (and think like this in their minds) on a daily basis. It is hard work, people. Their brains probably work in a different frequency compared to normal people.
Also, people who abuse their caps lock and shift key.
HaHa TiS iS sOO FuNN!
No. No, it's not. Capitalising alternate letters in a word is not fun. People use the caps lock for a reason. See, I use the caps lock when I'm trying to emphasise something. Something like THIS. And when I'm experiencing an emotion that requires me to use the caps lock key. For example, when I'm happy (HAHAHA! YAAYY); when I'm in shock (OMG WTF IS THAT) or when I just need to shout my thoughts out (DID YOU KNOW THAT TODAY IS SATURDAY? YAAAYY). You know what? Here's a challenge for you people who abuse the caps lock and shift key. I would like you to pronounce and say it exactly like how you type without looking like a complete ass. I fucking dare you.
And the best part is that behind this retard typing skill, there are actually intelligent people who choose to project themselves this way. Why? Why do you do that to me, intelligent people? I respect you for your brain superpowers but when I read the posts or messages you post, the inflated balloon of respect I have for you immediately shrinks or deflates. Just like that. Gone. Poof. Along with your attractiveness (I always find intelligent people to be sexually attractive like, oh turn me on by reciting the Newton's Law, you sexy hunk). You can go from a hot, sexy guy who knows about Greek mythology, UFOs and listens to Arcade Fire to just some guy by typing like that. Because it's a fucking turnoff okay?
I'm releasing that pretentious bitch vibe, aren't I?
Personally speaking, I detest this because it is just degrading. It degrades the standard of the English language, which is to me, a very beautiful and creative language. Like, why-noses-run-and-feet-smell creative. English is such a fun language and wordplay is never ending. But to watch people destroy the language like this and indirectly destroy the minds of readers is just..saddening. I respect the language, thus explaining why I always type the way I do. Sometimes I feel that English is deteriorating because we allow people to destroy the language like that. This has nothing to do with the freedom of self-expression or your individual right to type however you want because you can. It's a matter of preserving the integrity of the language. And to realise that fellow Internet users can actually understand this kind of crap upon their first reading is just scary.
And there it is, my first post for my Shameless List.
2 comments:
I...can't..oh god. Just your examples make me ANGRY. One of my lecturers said the English language as we know it is dying and the peOplE whu Typ3 lyK diSssS are part of the evolution of the way we read and write. I call bullshit on that. DO NOT WANT.
And dude, pretentious bitch or not, I am never apologizing for judging people who type this way. It's true, it is ALWAYS going to give the impression of a lower IQ level for some reason. And you could be a 4.0 flat at school, I'm still going to hate you. Bitterly.
Ue? Really? Ue? It's Ue now? WHY. Also I never thought about how much effort it would take to think of different ways to butcher proper spelling. They really must be operating on some level far more profound than we are.
Also there is this girl on Facebook who types entire status updates like that. Like, "OmGgggG aZZignM3nT is 5ooOoOOoO HaRrRddd! H3lllLp m333E PlIzZZZ!!". I blocked her from my news feed. My soul can't take it.
Oh gosh, dude. The profanities running through my mind when I read or see people who posts statuses like that.. You did the right thing by blocking her. She deserves it. I bet other people are cringing when they see her status updates like that.
It's fucking ue now. UE. And yes, it takes effort, creating ways to spell but still maintain the sound. They are working on a different frequency. A lower one. Because they remind me of cavemen. Shouting sounds and waving their clubs. In cyberspace.
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